So my hair isn’t coming out in clumps as I had feared. It does come out in my hands with I shampoo (very gently), condition, and apply my leave in scalp treatment. Because we are not only cleaning the hair, we are caring for the scalp, and I think it really helps. I don’t have that ucky waxy feeling as I experienced last time.
But my scalp does ache in places, and where it itches is where the hair seems to be falling out when I run my fingers through it.
When it does come out, there is no root attached. Ken’s theory is that follicle just shuts off, and so the hair stops growing and simply detaches itself. As I mentioned in another post, I hope when the new coat grows in, there’s not so much silver.
Started to worry about my eyebrows and eyelashes, but on www.headcovers.com they have that covered, too. You can stencil and temporary tattoo, you can draw in brows that are sparse, or they’ve got three different shapes of brows in a few colors you can simply glue on like you might attach false eyelashes. Oh, and they have those, too. Lots of styles, plenty of colors, and a few ways to attach them. Don’t know if I will lose my eyelashes and brows, but I ordered some back up just in case.
At www.headcovers.com they also carry wigs, wig care, turbans, scarves, and hats. I have my eye on one of the short wig styles. But I did order a couple of the cuter night hats, as they said they would also be cute under a sun hat.
I started off this morning wondering if it was time to talk about shaving my head. That got me crying again, because I don’t like change, no matter if I choose it (moving to a better home) or if I don’t (losing my job, losing my hair). At least, not at first. I was pretty upset when I was told that my job was ending at the end of April. But now I see this as a good thing. My former employer has done so well in supporting my care, that what I had grieved about previously (leaving my boss, who I loved; watching them all make plans for the future, and knowing myself not part of that future) is not the greatest of benefits. I couldn’t imagine trying to work up to my standards while I was undergoing chemo. It’s too exhausting. Everyone would be great about it, but I’d feel so guilty.
So instead I spend my time almost completely self-absorbed, worrying about when to pull the trigger and shave my remaining hair off, and how to look cute while I wait for my spring/summer coat to grow in. And shopping for wigs and cute hats is kind of fun. Because you have to shop for cute outfits to go with them, right?
I was feeling kind of sad and mopey about my hair and my lack of control over it when I started this post. I’m not any more.